June 2013
Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”
i’m terrified of lady bugs because when i was 10 my bathroom got infested by them and they laid eggs in my shower but i didn’t know that so when i went to take a shower one time i turned on the water and thousands of lady bugs came flying out of the drain and i sat in the bathtub and i cried
when u tell someone the same story twice and they’re like “i know u told me” uh im going to tell u again bc my stories are great and u should be grateful im spending so much time on u
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Mother of god. My mom was trying to take a picture of our christmas tree. Being the troll I am, I kept photobombing. She had me sit down to stop and I threw my phone, knowing it’d never work. It worked. We have a picture of our christmas tree with a flying phone
You guys thought I was kidding…
omG
it looks like it’s taking a selfie… #nomakeup #natural #xmas
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
